Honesty is not always the best policy

One of the biggest resentments I have right now is towards my work. They knew that I had been accepted to PA school and assured me, over and over, that it would be okay and my promotion was not going to be taken away from me. Alas this was a fallacy since as soon as the "real" one in power found out, it was yanked. Just like, poof!, it was gone. The ironic thing is that I have better people skills and work ethic than either of the two remaining DSs. I'm sure that the one lied about going to grad school since all of a sudden she is leaving, and the other is constantly looking for shortcuts as well as making ual remarks. All I can do with this is pray for them and the company in general, as well as work on being willing to let it go.

Thank Goodness for Sun

So I am so stoked about the weather finally turning around from icky, depressed clouds to the (somewhat) warmth of the sun. This has been such a bleak winter and it is so nice to break out the flip flops. It's been kinda an emotional winter, what with breaking the engagement, going back and forth between other guys and Matt finally to realize how much Matt does mean to me and to be with him again. Unfortunately though, I am at my mom's house, aka Gitmo. But that will change eventually. I can't wait to go to PA school in August. It would be nice if my family could possibly stop trying to make me feel like a failure for five minutes. Only in my family are you a loser if you don't get into grad school until you are 26.

So right now I am seeing a guy I saw before I went out with M. I'm not really sure why W. even wants to go out with me, since I've somewhat screwed him over a few times. It's so nice just to hang out with someone and not be worrying if I say something wrong and he gets mad. Plus W is like overly turned on by me, which is way flattering. I haven't felt attractive in so long. Tonight we watched Mystic River, and then he asked if I wanted to go hang out with him and his friends. Since I have my first aid class in the morning, I declined, but it was nice anyway. I think we are going to do something tomorrow.

thinking

The toughest part is trying to figure out if Matt is going to sustainably change, like if it is going to last a week, a month, or forever. I know that he does really love me, but is that enough?